just like the blind can't lead the blind, an unhappy person can't make someone else happy. you make people happy not by doing things, but by first being happy, and then teaching them your secret, either by example or by word.
hence, focus on your own happiness. be selfish about your happiness. because the responsiibility for your happiness lies on you and you alone.
conversely, doing something just because it will make someone else happy, will make you unhappy. and the other person may learn to rely on you or other people for their happiness. and this situation makes nobody happy.
so pursue your own happiness relentlessly. nobody will even realize you're being selfish about it, unless you tell them. and when you find your happiness, you'll find your work is pretty much done.
5 comments:
Good one Kris. I realize I've been selfish and it works like a charm.
N
so true !! for years i tried to keep others happy but in the end my unhappiness would sober up everyone around me .. And seeing others genuinely happy does make you smile with them atleast !!
Thanks for the revision ;)
I think there's a middle ground.. There are times when doing things for others makes you feel good. But, that being said, your happiness shouldn't hinge on it. I can't imagine a world where people don't do small random things to make someone's day..
@kavita: exactly what i meant. i do random acts of kindness when i know it'll make me feel good - my motives are still selfish. i wouldn't do a random act of kindness if it eroded or didn't affect my own happiness.
example: i'd give a beggar food but not money - the cost to me may be the same, but one makes me happy and the other doesn't :)
Happiness is a state of mind. Smallest of things can bring broad smile on your face while the biggest of things might not be good enough to elicit reaction. "Beauty of life is in small details, not in big events." The moment we learn to appreciate these small details, happiness is just round the corner. Oops! Just realised, I am writing a comment and not a blog! :)
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