Wednesday, November 27, 2024

everybody's free (to wear sunscreen)

2am. a restless night that doesn't want me to sleep. I'm sore and tired, my eyes burning, but sleep eludes me.

one glance at my phone screen that silently glowed in the darkness of the bedside table told me I have a new message. it was mom, telling me she didn't call me as she didn't check her phone before going to bed. it told me she was awake. 

I took my phone from the bedroom to the couch downstairs and called her. she answered right away. we spoke for an hour. we spoke about how I can't sleep as my feet are aching and my eyes are burning. she told me what new exercises she's added to her morning regime to keep her chronic backache from getting worse. we spoke about arbitrary things. after half an hour I told her I should go back to bed even though I'm sleepy. it took half an hour to say goodbye. at some point it stopped being a goodbye and just was an extension of the conversation.

I told her I want to spend time with her while she's healthy and able to enjoy it. I told her I'm sad that I didn't get as much time with dad as I'd have liked and I don't want the same to happen with her. 

I told her I love her and miss her. 

I don't remember when's the last time I told her I love her and miss her. I don't think she remembered either. 

at that moment, I wanted and needed to hug her more than I have wanted and needed to hug her since the last time I did. 

she hung up.

I want to sleep. my thoughts won't let me. 

I've spent the last 42 minutes, half in tears, listening to Baz Luhrmann. one song on repeat: wear sunscreen.

one line struck me every time the song looped:

"The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday"

it's 3:47am on Wednesday but it's still a blindside. 

I want a hug from my mom. Nothing else will do today. 

But I don't think I'm going to start wearing sunscreen. 

Tuesday, November 19, 2024

Battery low

It's 11:14pm. I'm siting on my couch, watching a video uploaded in November 2024 about a product from 1987 that allowed people to edit videos by controlling 2 VCRs. At the same time, I am trying to test a pair of AAA batteries in Shruti's wireless keyboard. Ironically, I am unable to test those batteries as the original pair of batteries, that Shruti claimed had stopped working earlier today, are working now! Also, I am separated from my trusty multimeter by my sleping mom-in-law, which makes solving the problem considerably more difficult. My only obvious option is to type away on the keyboard with the old batteries until they die so I can actually verify the new batteries are an better than the old one. However, the video is practically over but the old batteries are still going strong.

I have decided to call it quits and inform Shruti that the old batteries are still working but if they give up a new pair of batteries have been left beside the keyboard. Hopefully, that's it. Off to bed! In the meantime, it has started snowing and I woke Shruti up to see it, but it only caught her attention for 30 seconds.

ps: the old batteries gave up at literally the last word. new(er) batteries have been installed and the keyboard is confirmed to work with them. The keyboard randomly misses keys I type, and this seems to persist with the new batteries as well, so not battery related. However Shruti doesn't seem to have observed this, or if she has, she doesn't care, so I'm going to leave it at that! Good night!

Wednesday, November 13, 2024

nightmares don't come true

It was Sunday morning. I wanted to hike up cavehill (the hill I live on the side of) with the cavehill walking club - they hike up every Sunday at 11am. I set my alarm for 10am before going to bed.


I woke up, and I was late. I considered running to the start point, but as there were less than 5 minutes for 11am I realized I wouldn't make it in time. I considered cycling to the start point, but I remembered I haven't used my cycle in over 2 weeks and it probably needs air as it tends to lose air from the rear tyre over a few weeks and I haven't filled it in at least in a month.


I decided to run up the couple of streets that lead to a shortcut that meets the path about 10 minutes ahead of the start point. Once I got to the shortcut I slowed down to a brisk walk as I didn't want to tire myself out. I got to the point where the shortcut meets the main path. I checked the path both ways, and there was nobody in sight at all. Not even a random passer-by to ask if they saw a group going up. I figured I was still behind the group and had to take another shortcut to catch up with them. This one involved cutting across a couple of fields and a hedge before getting to the main path again.


I cut through the first field and the hedge and was entering the second field, but I was getting increasingly tired. My legs were struggling to move. It got to a point where I was trying to move my legs by grabbing my thighs with my arms and pulling them forward - and it still didn't help. I stopped and stood still. I couldn't move.


I looked around. There was nobody to be seen. I wondered how long I'll be here before someone found me.


I was sweating profusely. A cold sweat.


And that's when I woke up.


It was 9:55am, Sunday morning. I dismissed my alarm and asked if anyone was driving to the start point and could give me a lift. I busied myself with other things, as I thought I had plenty of time. But time passed, and before I knew it, it was 10:45am. I would have to leave right now if I had to walk to the start point, as nobody offered me a lift. I rushed downstairs, but I realized I was hungry. I stuck some fruit in my backpack. 10:55am. I had to leave right now if I had to cycle to the start point. But I wasn't sure if the cycle had air. I went to the shed and checked - my cycle was locked up with the heavy chain inside the shed from before I went on vacation. I didn't even check the air, because I couldn't remember where I had kept the key - that chain is only used when I'm locking the cycles and going on vacation. Back in the house, I considered running up the next couple of streets and taking the shortcut.


Something stopped me. I'm not sure what. Time seemed to slow down, or maybe speed up. It was 11am, then 11:05am. If I left now, I would definitely have to take both shortcuts and jog most of the way.


I decided to take the motorbike to the parking lot halfway up instead.


I left at 11:15. Got to the parking lot at 11:25. The parking lot was so full cars were parked on the road nearby. Thankfully I was able to find a spot inside the lot that was too small for a car but big enough for the bike. Locked up my helmet and started running towards the path. When I got to the point where people usually stop for a break and to click a photo (this is the spot where there's a waterfall too), there was nobody at all. I waited a few seconds and then decided to run on ahead.


I passed a lady coming downhill and asked if she had passed a group of walkers going up, including a tall long haired man with a chihuahua (the only person I was sure would be on the walk!). She said she had passed a group of walkers, and there was a tall long haired man, but she didn't see a chihuahua. I figured it must be them anyway, and jogged on ahead.


I reached the point where the second shortcut meets the main path when I recognized two friends from the walking club.


I told them the dream I just had before I left for the walk.


It was Monday morning. I had to make myself an appointment to see the doctor during the week. The doctor's reception released all the appointments for the week at 10am on Monday morning. There are two ways to get an appointment: call up at 10am or go to the reception in person at 10am. However, going to the reception is more reliable as plenty of people tend to call and I've been waiting in queue for over half an hour only to be told all the appointments for the week have been released and I need to call again next Monday. People also queue up outside the reception, but it seems like the receptionist deals with people quicker in person than on the phone, as I've counted at least 30 people getting appointments in the queue, while the phone queue takes half an hour even if there are less than 15 in queue.


So the ideal plan was to go in person and book an appointment. That was the plan all along - I had already packed my lunch, fruit box, snack box, etc the previous night. But somehow, when going to bed, I clicked something by accident that dismissed all my alarms for Monday morning. I tried reinstating them but I wasn't sure if it would work.


Monday morning, and I had to decide if I was going to take the motorbike to work or cycle. I reminded myself that I had already walked up cavehill on Sunday, so it would probably be more prudent to take the motorbike. I was hungry though and decided I should have breakfast before I leave. Breakfast done, I left for the doctor's - after which I would head to office. However, while I was on the way, it was clear from traffic and the time on my motorbike's dashboard that I wasn't going to make it at 10am. And in fact I had to make it before 10am if I was to not be at the end of the queue!


I decided to stop and call the doctor instead.


I was passing a mall, so I decided to park there. As I got my phone out to call the doctor, I walked into the mall from the parking lot. Something was wrong with my phone though. It wasn't acting the way I expected it to. Instead of calling the doctor, it created a reminder to call the doctor. It then made the reminder to call the doctor to repeat every day at 10am. As I was trying to fix that there was a message saying that an update was going to be installed, and this would change how reminders would look (even though they would continue to work the same). I was wondering why my phone wasn't letting me call the doctor.


That's when I noticed there was actually no network in range. I walked towards the glass front of the mall and looked out as I waited for the phont to pick up a signal. I tried calling again. This time it tried to make a WhatsApp call, which obviously wouldn't work. I was so confused and frustrated with my phone and wondered why I couldn't make a simple phone call.


And that's when I woke up.


I had either slept through or dismissed my alarms in my sleep, or maybe I had not successfully reinstated them. Shruti woke me up, reminding me that I had to call the doctor. I asked her what time I should call to be at the front of the queue when they release appointments. She said I should call immediately. it was 9:35am.


I called. I was the first in the queue. I thought to myself, that's weird. If I was first in the queue, would the receptionist answer and tell me to call closer to 10am? I decided not to take a chance, and call later. Still in bed, I called at 9:45am. I was again first in the queue! This was weird. I decided to call 5 minutes later.


At 9:50am, I was still first in the queue! I wondered if the receptionist was answering the phone and asking people to call back later. Still, I decided, if I was first in the queue at 9:55, I would stay on and speak to the receptionist before calling again.


I called at 9:55am. I was 5th in the queue this time, and the wait time was barely 5 minutes! And I don't think many people showed up in person, because I got an appointment for Tuesday morning!


I messaged Shruti to say the appointment was for Tuesday morning at 10:30am, because I was still not sure if I was awake or in a dream.


I woke up half an hour later. I checked my phone for messages. It said that I messaged Shruti to say I had an appointment for Tuesday morning at 10:30am. In fact it only said "Tuesday 1030". I'm still not sure if I typed it half asleep or fully awake.


It was only on Tuesday morning, when I reached at the reception (on cycle) and saw that they did indeed have my appointment that I was sure it was not a dream.

popular posts