why do i blog?

i'm not sure if i've blogged about this before, and honestly, at this moment, i don't really care.

i have forgotten my blog exists. i have forgotten that you, my dear reader, exists.

i have forgotten that if there's something i need to throw out there, make available to the world without any external validation, i have a place to do it.

sometimes, it feels like the self is a mirror. the more you look inside, the more you see outside. and i've stopped looking inside.

i don't know why, but i know that i've stopped.

it's hard to explain the metaphysical phenomenon where the self expands, so that something that used to be outside myself, can now look at me, and see the outside through the mirror... thus rendering the act of what used to be myself looking inside, redundant.

the phenomenon where i don't feel the need to ask myself questions, because someone else is doing the asking for me.

as i think about it, strange diagrams come to mind.

and i'm happy with these diagrams. i'm happy with this real representation of the abstract projection of my reality.

so happy that i don't even feel the need to draw these diagrams and stick them here, even though i know the images in my mind will fade before i even fall asleep, and this blog post will look like gibberish when i wake tomorrow.

and that leads me the answer to why i don't blog anymore.

i started off blogging for others. i then moved to blogging to myself.

but this post isn't even for myself. it's for my present. the intersection of the self and the current moment. something which will not exist at the time anyone (myself included) is reading this.

so... why even blog?