breakdown

as part of being self-aware, i've generally been conscious of the decisions i make, and their influence on my living sustainably. but i think the automatic self-awareness has been gradually overridden by a daily (or actually, frequent) flight-or-fight syndrome in the last few months. my life may have the outward appearances of being perfectly on track, even to myself, but it seems like something is fundamentally wrong. i'm ticking most of the boxes: sleep, eating right (most of the time, at least), and a healthy entertainment quota. but something isn't quite adding up. and so, it seems like i need to structure my attention. and somehow, it seems like the sort of thing that can't be done incrementally.

the worst part about being off-balance is, firefighting takes up precious time that should be spent getting back on track. and it's easy to say that i have the luxury of time (i don't have any deadlines, at least!), but i know things aren't getting better.

and so, it's time for a reboot. hopefully, no data will be lost!