30

i turned 30 last week. thirty. three decades on this earth. when i was born, india was almost half her present age. the fastest computer was orders of magnitude slower than my phone (which, btw, i'm waiting to junk because it's too slow). but those big things don't mean much to me. the world goes on, its' mostly pre-determined path, save a few surprises (mostly nasty, sadly). i've been more fascinated with how i've changed.

a decade ago, if you asked me how i imagined myself at 30, i'd probably be further off than 50s sci-fi was from their prediction of the 21st century.

sure, there are few things i'd have gotten right:

• work wise, i knew i'd be doing something computer related. programming related to be precise. and that's spot on.
• my best friends then are still my best friends today.
• i still live in the same home that i lived in back then, true to my resolve of never changing cities or countries (my reasons for staying put though, are different).
• i still listen to (and love) the same music. so much so, that i'm acutally caught in some sort of musical time warp.

but then, so much has changed.

• i have gone from being a reticent bookworm, to someone who loves the company of people more than being alone. to the point where i'm actually called a social butterfly by some of my friends.
• i have gone from having never left the city in 20 years, to leaving it every weekend. these days, staying at home feels alien, and people are jealous of me for the amount of time i spend traveling.
• i have gone from having never ever trekked, or even sat on a bike (forget riding one) to riding and trekking every weekend.
• i have gone from writing apps and games in my spare time, to tweeting, uploading photos of my food, and spending entire evenings on facebook. the last time i had an IDE on my home PC was 5 years ago, at least.
• i have gone from never having anything more than a 4 digit bank balance, to earning more in a month than my parents spent on me in a year. from having never written a cheque, to having a flat to my name.

but these are all external changes. i feel i've changed more on the inside.

• i've learned, multiple times over, about the fragility of human life. from losing near and dear ones, to almost losing myself.
• i've realized that i'm not on earth for my own self-gratification, and that there is some higher purpose to my existence, even though i haven't figured it yet.
• i've realized the power of change, both positive and negative. and surprised myself many times over with how easily i can turn my life around, if i try.
• i've learned that i need to invest in relationships with the people around me, and that life is far more fulfilling when shared.
• i've gotten rid of many of my false assumptions about what it takes to be happy. and through trial and error, and a bit of insight, i think i've even realized how to make it sustainable.
• i have gone from being a skeptical atheist, to someone who has wholly (and vocally) embraced a pragmatic belief in god as a way of life.
• and most of all, i've learned to live in the present, to embrace surprise, and to stay permanently curious.

and all this, in just 10 years.

i can't imagine what i'd be like at 40. from what i've seen, it's going to be a crazier journey than my entire life so far put together.

i can't wait for every single day of the rest of my life.