death

checked my drafts after ages, and of all things, i found a consolation message for the parents of someone who died an untimely death:

losing someone at such an age is indeed sad. but i believe everyone has a purpose, and so did Isabel. our purpose drives us, day after day, even through what seems like a mundane, "regular" life. i wouldn't wish for anyone, even a dearly loved one, to live a day of a purposeless life. i'm sad when i lose a loved one (and i've lost a few), but through the tears, i smile, because i remember all they've taught me, knowingly or not, and cherish and live by those lessons :)

strangely, i don't even remember typing this, let alone saving it. hmmm.

contact

i love making eye contact with people. so many random things happen with just a shared glance with strangers.

today, when i was riding to a friend's place, a car stopped slightly ahead and beside me at a red light. the rear door was opened, and a guy leaned out and poured a fair bit of pepsi on the road right below the door. when he finished, as he was leaning back into the car, he looked up at me, we exchanged a glance... no guesses for what he was up to :D

a few weeks ago, taking the office bus drop on a friday after work, i was sitting beside a girl in the first seat of the bus. i could feel her gaze on me, but whenever i turned in her direction i just caught her turning away. this continued for a few times, until we finally made eye contact: in each others' reflections in glass partition that separated the passenger area from the driver's cabin. i guess we were both too surprised to react, but after a moment, we found ourtselves smiling at each other. in the glass.

a couple of months before that, again when riding along link road one evening, i was waiting at a stop light. the rickshaw in front of me, like most others, had a transparent window at the back. a couple was making out in the rickshaw. at that very same moment that i looked at it and noticed what they were doing, the woman opened her eyes, and we both looked at each other through the window as she continued doing whatever she was with the guy in the ricskshaw. i kid you not.

but all this brings me back to how i got started. it's an interesting thing, especially useful for bikers: how do you know the driver of a larger vehicle (especially a truck) has seen you, before you overtake it from the right?

simple.

you look into their rearview mirror. when you flash your headlights, the driver will look into his mirror. and you will make eye contact.

once i got used to that as a road-safety trick, making eye contact through mirrors just became second nature to me.

i'm just surprised that most people i've asked, don't know about this trick.

it's all so simple to me, really. when i make eye contact with a stranger, the other person suddenly feels human. sometimes, it even makes them an anonymous friend, someone my trust in humanity can be extended to.

addiction

my life is dominated by technology. i spend 9 hours a day writing software for a living, and when i'm not doing that, i'm almost always on my phone. on my first phone, back in 2004, mobile internet was a rather sucky experience, and there wasn't much you could do with it other than check email and (extremely painfully) chat on yahoo messenger. which is why i would play games on my phone instead. my favourite game back then was "sims 2" and "worms world party".

as the years went by, i moved to blogging from my phone, facebook mobile, and finally the ultimate mobile addiction: twitter.

5 years later, things have come full circle, and how.

my friends complain i'm not on twitter any more (which isn't true, btw - i'm now only down to replying to @mentions, and the occasional tweet when i'm walking to the water cooler at work, or something like that).

and the reason is, i've started playing games on my phone again.

and guess which games: worms world party (yes, the exact same game from 7 years ago, now released for android), and sims freePlay.

anyway, that's it for now. i need to prepare for a bake sale by teaching my sims how to bake. yesh.

ps: and my mom thinks i'm addicted to facebook. lol.

my secret

i hate seeing depressed people. while i have my own bouts of depression too, they're usually shortlived (read: they disappear with a good night's sleep), i don't get people who claim there's nothing to life and everything seems to be consistently going against their way or whatnot. because that somehow never happens to me, or so it seems.

am i lucky? maybe.

but maybe i've simply learned how to game my luck.

the overarching principle is: be selfish. do what makes you happy, and that's it. sometimes, making someone happy makes you happier. that's cool too.

but then again, "be selfish about your happiness" is quite a fuzzy and wide-open principle to follow.

so here are a few things that i am selfish about, that work for me:

• keep your balance:
  
  predictability vs madness
  doing things you love vs things you hate but need to be done anyway
  entertainment vs rest
  staying in control vs letting go


• sleep well. on tight days, you can get by, but eventually, make up for it. for me, "eventually" means 4 days or less, and "sleep well" means 7 uninterrupted hours or more. 9, if i have a deficit, for as many days as it takes till i bounce back.


• figure out what refreshes you. don't be afraid to make mistakes in this regard (as long as you keep your balance, you should be okay). if you're doing everything you thought you like, but are still bored... you're doing it wrong! shake things up, and start again.


• stay connected to those you love. keep an in-person connection with atleast a few of them, because i've learned online or even the phone doesn't always work.


• keep some self-time. time to think. time to switch off from the bustle of life and the world around.


• take care of your health. your body can only take so much abuse. while i'm particularly notorious in this regard, i've found all the low points in my life coincide with physical inactivity and the messes it creates.


• have long term goals. but don't be too strict about them.


• enjoy the small things. i can't remember the last time a *big* thing made me truly happy. i've lost count of the beautiful sunsets and wet licks from puppies that have. and the things money can buy usually come last on my list.


• introspect. you won't know if you're doing better or worse unless you analyze yourself. helps figure what exactly is your balance, and how many liberties you can take with it :D


• finally, don't panic. never panic for any longer than you need to trigger the "fight or flight" response. every situation has its way out, and bad things usually look far worse than they are.

that's all i can think of, for now. and i don't even need follow all of these at any given time. life is *very* forgiving that way :)