what it feels like for a man

i just sawed through a 5mm thick steel cable with half a hacksaw blade and my bare hands (couldn't find a saw, so it was just the blade and my trusty hand).

in related news, my left thumb isn't just handy, it's handy *and* lucky. and i got only one blister and half a cut. and a big testosterone rush. :D

born to try

in a moment of need, a song was sent to lift my spirit when i didn't know that it was meant to fly...read on, it's beautiful...and if you can, listen to it too :)

born to try

Doing everything that I believe in
Going by the rules that I've been taught
More understanding of what's around me
And protected from the walls of love

All that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

No point in talking what you should have been
And regretting the things that went on
Life's full of mistakes, destinies and fate
Remove the clouds look at the bigger picture

And all that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try
I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

All that you see is me
All I truly believe
All that you see is me
And all I truly believe

That I was born to try

I've learned to love
Be understanding
And believe in life
But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

But you've got to make choices
Be wrong or right
Sometimes you've got to sacrifice the things you like

But I was born to try

- born to try, by delta goodrem

packed like sardines in a crushed tin can

for the past 3 weeks, my life has turned so busy that i no longer have time to even check my mail, read, blog, or phone my friends outside of weekends.

the strangest thing is that this happened right after i attended a company sponsored training on "making more time".

ironic, isn't it?

well...before anyone jumps to point anything out, i *did* learn a lot from the training, and i *did* put most of those things into practice.

the secret is simple: they asked me to make a list of goals (short, medium, long term) and list my day-to-day activities. they then asked me to list the activities that didn't have anything to do with my goals, and also find goals that didn't have any corresponding activities. finally we made up an action plan based on these exercises.

working and health are my priorities, so i now have to ensure i work hard, spend most of my productive energy during my (long) work hours on work itself, reserve an hour daily for exercise, eat regularly and sleep well.

i wonder how long i can continue this for, before i collapse out of the sheer monotony of my day-to-day life.

ps: title inspired by radiohead's "packed like sardines in a crushed tin box"

what it feels like for a girl

girls can wear jeans
and cut their hair short
wear shirts and boots
cause its ok to be a boy
but for a boy to look like a girl is degrading
cause you think that being a girl is degrading
but secretly you'd love to know what its like
wouldn't you?
what it feels like for a girl

madonna, what it feels like a girl

okay, i wasn't listening to the original, but the "above and beyond" remix. still, it's one song that i should never listen to when i'm riding...because it will probably make me do a suicidal 0-100 and crash into a tree :D

why?

i'm surprised at the superficiality of my life. twenty five years on this planet, and i still haven't yet thought this question through:

"why am i here? what am i living for?"

i guess on some level i figured that i don't need to know my destination as long as i keep moving in the right direction, correct?

i seem to have hit a problem. all this while, there was only one way to go. study and get through school, get into college, graduate and get out of college, post-graduate, get a job...fairly simple and obvious.

unfortunately for me, there is no single "right direction" any more. i'm at a crossroad and i don't know where i want to go. for the past 3 weeks, i've been taking halting steps down each way, only to beat a retreat a little later.

strangely enough, the decision seems easy enough for everyone around me who's aware of this choice i have to make. people who hear this problem have their answer ready almost by reflex. and they're almost unanimous. i, on the other hand, have experimented with their directions and am not as sure.

the answer to the question will give me my direction. but the answer has to be mine.

alone

a few days ago, i was having a discussion with my friends over lunch about how long we could survive without contact with any humans (in person or over the phone etc.) except through the internet. i.e. contact through surfing/chatting etc allowed, but nothing else. that would also imply no getting out of the house (unless you live in a barren wilderness...but we didn't consider that possibility)

vamsi said 1 month.

sneha and aarti said a week.

i said not more than a few hours.

today i prove my point yet again.

three hours at home with no one to talk to on the phone, no chance of going out (thanks to ganpati immersion and heavy rain), a super-fast net connection and virtually unlimited media on my comp and dvd collection, and i'm feeling sick and depressed.

i think my internet connection *causes* depression, rather than alleviating it.

freaky defaults

i just joined friendfeed 5 minutes ago. since i somehow mistakenly assumed it to have been recently brought over by google (this is what happens when i read too much news out of that one corner of my eye :P) i trusted it with my gmail/facebook ids right away. of course, i later had a doubt and googled it (hmm...google again!!!) and realised i was wrong...but i guess it's too late now, and the site looks trustworthy so what the hell :D

so after importing my gmail contacts and facebook profile, i decided to import my blog. and freaked out (click to zoom on screenshot)



those guys guessed my blog address...damn!!! fine, it was just an example of what my blog address could look like, but what the hell!!!

ps: it also reminded me of seth godin's recent post on "the uncanny valley"